My essay on "Standing By" wasn't very personal at all. I don't think I personally thought about who my audience would be besides the people grading my final portfolio. I'm hoping after I reread it another time I can think of a good way to rewrite the essay. At first I didn't think it was so bad, but after we were clear on the assignment I realized just how bad it was. I didn't make it personal, I didn't bring the readers in, etc. Maybe after I rewrite my essay for "Standing By" I will be able to make the connection with my readers a little better.
Although my essay for "Standing By" wasn't personal, my second essay was a little bit better. I wrote it like I was writing a letter to Susan Orlean. I included why her article wasn't effective for me and what things I would have liked to see in her article. I also am working on picking out a couple things she did well while writing. I think because I wrote it like a letter it was a lot easier for me to make it personal. I didn't feel guilty about using "I" or "you" like I would in a more formal type of essay.
I don't think I am going to rewrite my essay for "Lifelike", because I actually really like how it is now. However, I'm hoping that I can think of a creative way to write my essay for "Standing By" so it sounds more like an interpretive essay as apposed to being so formal and just summarizing the story basically. My essay as of right now is one of the essays that would put the portfolio readers to sleep, and I want mine to truly stand out.
So even if you're not going to do a dramatic revision of your "Lifelike" essay, what smaller revision strategies will you use? Have you thought about working with the course goals and outcomes?
ReplyDeleteWhat specific plans do you have for your "Standing By" revision that will help your writing to "stand out"?